tim gier

When it comes to males who think that they must act violently in order to show their control over nature, what they are really showing is that either they do not understand the reality which confronts them, or that they feel afraid and powerless in the face of that reality, or both.

Ample social/psychological research exists to support the conclusion that males generally have been socialized to think of manliness or masculinity in terms of power, control, rationality, material wealth, heterosexuality, lack of emotion (or an unwillingness to show emotion), etc. Boys grow up thinking that in order to be real men they must exhibit all these traits and characteristics and to the extent that they do not, then they are not real men. The problem is that no one can exhibit all these traits and characteristics in the ideal sense, and so boys grow up into men who can’t be who they are supposed to be.

The reality that confronts us is something over which we can have no control. Human beings are not gods, and the universe wasn’t “created” for us. We are just bit players in an infinitely expanding tragicomedy that has no script, no producer and no director. When people think that they can have any kind of meaningful power over this reality, they do not understand reality. Now, some people sense this powerlessness and become scared because of it, and in order to deny their fear, they act violently against others, to “reclaim” the power that they never had. Other people never sense this powerlessness and do little more than sleepwalk through life, thinking that they are “in charge” of what is happening in the world, and that they hold some special place of privilege in it which entitles them to control and subjugate others. They are mistaken (and are part of what Nietzsche calls the “herd”).

Real power comes with the knowledge that all that there is for any one conscious creature is what happens to and through them in the course of their lives, and that the life of any one conscious creature has meaning only in relation to other the other conscious lives it interacts with. Real power comes in recognizing the value of other conscious creatures, as they themselves are. Real power isn’t the control over (or the killing of) others, it is the control over oneself, with respect for all others.

Be a real man, not a poser.